Just Watched... Dracula's Guest

Oh, how can I sum up this movie in a few simple words... hella-bad; hella-lame; hella-waste-of-time...

The film is loosely based (and I use the word "loosely" in its loosest sense) on an excised piece of the original Dracula manuscript. Not as popular as the well known novel from which it came, this uber-short story is only a few pages long, really just an extended blurb. The entire short story is actually comprised into one scene in the film, the rest of the scenes pure ad-lib. Though originally meant to be included in the novel, Bram Stoker's publisher eventually cut it due to its length in addition to the length of the rest of the story. It was later published as a short story two years after Stoker's death in 1914. For those who have never read it and are curious, the excerpt can be found here... http://www.literature.org/authors/stoker-bram/draculas-guest/

Now back to the movie.

The main character is Bram Stoker himself, portrayed by Wes Ramsey, a curly-headed lad with so-so looks and amateurish acting skills... and he's one of the better players in this flick. Dracula is played by Andrew Bryniarski- you know, the guy who played Leatherface in the Texas Chainsaw remakes. He also did a couple of football flicks- Friday Night Lights and Any Given Sunday. Those roles suited him. Bryniariski is a former body builder, a hulk of a man, not really how you would envision Dracula, so I was immediately put off by the character. It got even worse when the scenes came up with him wearing his fangs. Bless the man, he could hardly utter his lines around them (in a terribly bad accent, I might add), and in close-up shots, he appears to be trying to keep from biting his lip. I can only imagine how many re-takes had to be done because of the drool leaking from his mouth.

The plot veers wildly from the short story, stealing snatches of the storyline from Dracula. The characters of the movie begin to take on the characteristics from the Dracula novel, Stoker becoming the clone of Jonathan Harker, Elizabeth (Kelsey McCann), Stoker's love interest, mirrors Mina, and Elizabeth's father, Admiral Murray, has a Van-Helsing-ish air about him.

Watching this movie play out was like watching a fifth grade class put on a play. The actors were stiff and stilted, not believable in their roles at all. The set designs and special effects were laughable. In one scene I noticed that a couple of candle sconces hanging on the wall were actually electric, the "flames" were the flame shaped bulbs like your mom has in the dining room chandelier fixture. In another scene you'll see Elizabeth lying on a twin mattress covered up with a comforter that looks like it came from JCPenney's. But that's nit-picking, right? Well, pay close attention to the castle scenes. I thought the walls looked odd for some reason. Why? Because it was filmed in a friggin' mausoleum! At least old Drac had a place to stuff the bodies after he sucked 'em dry.
And that's another oddity in this film. Seeing as how it's Dracula, you would expect him to actually bite a few people, show a little blood-letting in there somewhere. So help me, they only showed the vampire actually biting someone once and the scene immediately cuts away- no close-ups of fangs in neck, no blood, nothing! Boo on you, Mr. Director.

But I suppose I shouldn't be too harsh on the director Michael Feifer. Not only did he write and direct the film, he also produced it and played a bit part as a carriage driver. He was a busy man! Heck, even one of the casting directors- Caia Coley- had to pull double duty, playing the role as Elizabeth's mother Mrs. Murray.

All I can say about this film is that it must have been a labor of love for Feifer, for surely it wasn't meant to make him any money. The plot is lame, leap-frogging from one scene to another with no fluidity or sense of continuation in the story, leaving you with the sense that something has been left out- like important explanatory scenes.
The direction is less than mediocre, a lot of shots poorly done- some badly lit, some just not making much sense. I mean, why do a close-up of Dracula's mouth so that it reminds you of your dog coming up and licking the lens on your camcorder?
As for the cast and crew, the majority of them must have been hired from the freshman class at the local film school. For the only actual known actor in this film, Bryniariski, I can only guess he either owed Feifer a huge favor or needed some quick cash to pay his light bill.

My rating ~ -2 on the creep meter. This film gives B movies a bad name...

Cheers~